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Suddenly we find ourselves looking at each other with panic and saying, what the hell are we doing??
We have no jobs, we have no home, we are spending money on hotels and food, and trying to stay within a budget while visiting some of the most expensive places at the most expensive time of year, and we meet people and tell them how wonderful San Francisco is and then turn to each other and wonder why we're not there?
It's hard not to start questioning motives, and wondering if this trip was just an elaborate way of escaping "real life", or facing hard questions about what we want to be doing with our lives!
And I know, sitting there in your day jobs reading this you must think "Oh, boo hoo lady, how hard it is to be in Switzerland, how I pity you", and I don't blame you, but all I can say is, this is how we are feeling.
I think we might be suffering a bit from the "If this is Tuesday, it must be Geneva" phenomenon, where aimless travel starts to feel a bit mindless. Because after a while, let's be honest, cities start to all look alike, as do mountains and ski towns. And so much unscheduled time can start to feel like all you are doing is "filling time" to get to the next place.
I'm all for mindless escapism, but that seems to have a two-week limit, where it can be wonderful and rejuvenating to just lie on a beach and not think about anything or do anything other than feel the warm sand sifting through your fingertips, and listen to the sound of the ocean. But that can only get you so far.
So the question becomes, do we need to make the trip more purposeful, more active? Should we be finding short internships somewhere, where we can get to know some people, and explore a craft or hobby? What about the language issues? What would we do? Wine is obvious for me, but for Steve? Cars? Bikes? Where? What?
I think we also have put a lot of pressure on ourselves with regards to this trip: it was going to be the best thing we'd ever done in our lives; we were going to discover our true callings and purposes in life; we were maybe even going to be inspired by one location and decide to live there for a while.
So there's no pressure there or anything. When we have down moments, I think we both start saying to ourselves that if we aren't having the best time of our lives at every moment, then why are we spending so much money, and maybe it was a mistake and should we keep going, blah blah....
I don't know what the answer is.
Does anyone?
Stop worrying about the money, thinking too much and just enjoy ourselves? Maybe...
Hi Jocelyn!
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me also, especially at the start of the trip and kept coming back from time to time. In the end, you have to decide not to care. Travelling is a waste of time and money, but that’s also the point. What you have bought yourself is 1) almost limitless free time, 2) complete freedom from any responsibility other than finding a bed for the night and 3) the opportunity to see and do things you couldn’t on a two week vacation. It’s a liberation, but it takes a bit of getting used to.
Don’t feel bound by your itinerary; it was just something you put together at the start to make you feel like you had a plan. Now you can throw it away and do what you want. There’s no scorecard and nobody cares if you don’t visit the paces you said you would. If you start with having a checklist of things you have to do, places you have to visit etc. you’ll just start creating responsibilities when you don’t need to. I also found that it was a mistake to see too much, and that after a while (as you said), any big city feels like any other (although this was especially true of North America). So my advice; slow down, keep the itinerary loose, see more of the country than the city, and do only the things you feel like doing. And that means, if you don’t feel like doing anything for a week, don’t do anything. If you want to ride Alpe d'Huez, do that. I found out the most fun I had was doing things I hadn’t planned on anyway.
The thing I found to be the hardest was when the trip was coming to a close and I found myself wanting to fast forward, get home, sleep in my own bed, and have some structure back in my life. That’ll come soon enough. Don’t force it, the opportunity won’t come round again.
Peter
Thanks so much for this, Peter. Wise words. So nice to hear that we're not crazy to be feeling what we're feeling, that you went through it too.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about being willing to throw away the lists we have of places we must go, things we have to do. I tend to be a real list-maker, and then somehow if i can't cross off everything on the list I feel like a failure! Which is crazy, since I made the list, so I should be the first one who can change it!
I think starting out, we put too much pressure on ourselves as far as what this trip needed to mean, or to be. And we have to let that go and just let it be what it is.
Most of the time I think you don't know the true meaning or significance of something until long afterward, so we can't judge now anyway.
We have been feeling much better these last couple of days in Switzerland, seeing these beautiful mountain villages. It sort of reminded us why we wanted to do this kind of travel in the first place.
Hope you are well-email pictures!
J
try not to spend too much time in the car - car travel can be soul-killing. whenever I think about what parts of vacation where I started to feel a bit dead - always in the car.
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