Wine for Possibility

I am not normally one for new year's resolutions. To me, they always sound more like punishments: resolve to lose 10 pounds (because you are a big fat cow); resolve to exercise 5 times a week (because you are a lazy big fat cow); resolve to be better with money (because you are a wasteful big fat cow); resolve to keep on top of your files (because you are a slacker, wasteful, lazy big fat cow) resolve to clean the apartment diligently once a week (because you are a dirty, lazy, wasteful, slacker big fat cow-pig living in a pile of FILTH!!!!). You can see what I mean. It seems to me that resolutions more often than not come out of a feeling of failure, which I think is a terrible motivator, and in creating these resolutions, you are inevitably setting yourself up for more failure, which only will make you want to eat more, slack-off more, and let the piles of clothes, work, dirt around you grow exponentially.

Instead I am choosing to set forth for myself in the coming year the goal of living in possibility; opening myself up to whatever new opportunities and challenges come my way. Because I have seen, in both big and small ways, what can happen when I open myself up to the universe and the various things that it brings me.

Here is a funny example: Steve and I went to The Grove last weekend, one of our favorite neighborhood low-key coffeehouse/restaurants. As I approached the counter to order our drinks, I noticed that there was one piece of chocolate fudge cake left, and that the top half of it had fallen over. I jokingly asked the server if the cake was free because it had fallen. I fully expected him to laugh and say no, but instead he laughed, and gave it to me for nothing! Again, it's a small example, but a significant one: putting things out there positively and opening ourselves up to the universe can result in many gifts being handed to us, not the least of which can be free cake!!

A more significant illustration of this has come to me this past year in the form of my sudden and unexpected involvement in the wine business. As I mentioned before, I have been an actor for many years, and it is a profession that is both wonderful and heartbreaking. The wonderful part, of course, is when you actually get to perform, on stage or in front of the camera, maybe even make some money. The agonizing part of it is how unbelievably difficult it can be to ever get work. There are so many disappointments, so many let-downs. It can be draining, and after a while, one starts to wonder if all of that effort is worth it.

I have been given an abundance of support in my life: my parents and husband have all been willing to support me emotionally and financially as I try to make my way in this career. And I have worked in coffee houses, in offices, in people's homes, and as a teacher. But none of those jobs really excited me all that much. And I know, who says your job is supposed to excite you, right? Well, as spoiled as it may sound, I do. And I grew up with parents who also believed that what you do could be more than just a job. It certainly doesn't have to be, but it can be, I mean why not, right?

I had considered going back to teaching, or even getting a degree and becoming a Marriage and Family Counselor. But for whatever reason, I just never wound up pursuing those options. I wondered what else I could do-what skills did I have? What might I be good at? Honestly, I had no idea. And then one night Steve and I went to dinner with our friends Mike and Amy. Mike was working for Audelssa Winery, and casually mentioned that they were looking for another sales person to help them in the San Francsico area, and for some unknown reason, I suggested myself. Crazier still, he took me up on it! I had no previous wine experience, but he brought me to the winery, introduced me to everyone, tasted the wines with me, and released me into the wild. And lo and behold, I discovered I had a feel for it, and what's more, I enjoyed it. Selling wine provided me with an entry into the world of wine, something I had never thought of, certainly never thought I might be able to try and make some kind of a career out of. Possibility, from out of the blue.

Now suddenly, I am contemplating taking a course that would enable me to become a Certified Sommelier. Where did that come from? In all my time of trying to to think of what I could do instead of, or in support of, my acting, never once did I think of wine. And when I blithly offered myself up to Mike as a wine saleswoman, I had zero wine experience and almost less wine knowledge. But I offered myself to the universe, I put myself in the path of possibility, of new experience and the universe met me halfway, and ushered me down an entirely unforseen path.

It is diffciult to make changes in life. It is one of the most frightening things we can do. It can also be the most fruitful and exciting, of course, but as we set out, in my opinion, it's just plain scary. Changing how we live our lives, how we see or define ourselves is downright terrifying. I have only ever been willing to define myself as an actor, and as a result, I live a large part of my life feeling like a total failure. In the past, the idea of taking on another career seemed like the ultimate failure. But I am trying now to live the idea that there is room for more than one passion, more than one interest, more than one career; trying to live the idea that we don't know where life will take us, and therefore to close ourselves off from possibilty and new paths is to close ourselves off from really living. So I am trying to see possibility where I used to see failure, to put myself in the mindset that I am not closing one door, but rather am allowing myself to have two doors open at once, and to believe that there is in fact time and space in the universe to be in two rooms at the same time. It may just be a matter of knocking down a wall and making one big, beautiful all-encompassing room where before there wasn't one. That is after all the way so many people let in air and light, and create the space of their dreams.

So on New Year's Eve, as I embark on this year of possibility, I am popping the cork on a bottle of 2005 Domaine Carneros Taittinger. This sparkling wine was voted Best United States Sparkling Wine by Food & Wine Magazine, and received 92 Points from Wine Spectator. I was able to buy it at my local wine shop for under $20 a bottle. It seems the perfect beverage, not only because champagne and sparkling wine are a New Year's standard, but also because these sparkling wines hold a whole world of possibility, in the form of the champagne cocktail! So many possibilities from one bottle: add orange juice for your standard Mimosa, or branch out even further. Try peach juice and puree for a Bellini, or Creme de Cassis for a Kir Royale. Why not also add Chambord, or muddled raspberries or blackberries, or St. Germaine liqueur, or some pomegranate juice and/or liqueur and some pomegranate seeds? A splash of this, a splash of that, why not?! The dry, sometimes tart, fruity sparkle of the wine is a beautiful balance to many different fruit juices or syrupy fruity-sweet liqueurs.

It's a great way to kick things off: a sharp pop, a splash of foam, a blast of cold bubbles fizzing in your mouth and nose, making you laugh and say " Here's to 2010, and the possibility it holds".

Happy New Year!