Wine for a Better Marriage

I am extremely excited at the moment, because i have just heard about what I believe might, possibly, be the greatest product ever invented. I mean it.

It is called "The Better Marriage Blanket". The name alone deserves a round of applause. What magical powers could this blanket possess which enable it to actually improve a person's marriage?

Does it put an end to financial woes; make children sleep through the night and late into the morning; does it end snoring, or tossing and turning; regulate body heat so that both people in the bed are perfectly comfortable at all times; does it warm one person's feet so that they are not blocks of ice; does it make you more fertile (or less fertile, depending on what the couple's needs are); increase sex drive; decrease sex drive; end erectile dysfunction?

Could it have saved the marriages of Jesse James and Tiger Woods?? What, I had to know, what on earth does this blanket do to give you a better marriage??!!

I'll tell you what it does:

It absorbs the smell of farts.

Yup, that's right. Apparently all that is needed for a better marriage is an absence of nighttime fart-smell. Who knew?

Obviously this blanket is aimed at women, because men seem to have no problem at all with flatulent odors, in fact they seem to enjoy them. They are proud of their emanations and say things like: "Get a whiff of that!!" and "Deep breaths, there's enough for everyone." Seriously. I know someone who says that. I won't tell you who, but I'm about to go on a very long trip with him to countries known for their tiny beds and an excessive consumption of stinky cheese.

I being a woman, of course, do not toot. Steve likes to tell a story about how one night I fell asleep beside him, had a rather loud gaseous emission, and woke myself up, saying "Was that me?", but it's a heinous lie.

I shudder to think what is in this blanket to make it absorb such aromas, and I don't have any immediate plans to buy one for my household, but I will say that if these blankets actually work, every airline should buy them and force every passenger on every flight to wear one, because I'll take a "Better, Less Fart-Filled-Flight" over the alternative any day.

I hesitate to recommend a wine today, lest it become know as the Fart-Blanket wine, but what can I do? Today is, after all, wine recommendation day.

What I have to offer is a delicious Craggy Range 2008 Sauvignon Blanc from Martinborough, New Zealand. I Love Sauvignon Blanc, and Sauvignon Blancs from New Zealand in particular are so tropical with fantastic aromas and flavors of pineapple, guava, grapefruit, kiwi, starfruit, mango, papaya, and gooseberry (Now I personally have never smelled or eaten a gooseberry, but there is this sort of tropical, tangy tart aroma that I have not encountered before and which folks claim to be gooseberry, so I have to assume that that's what it is) that these NZ Sauvignon Blancs have rapidly become my favorites.

This Craggy Range Sauv Blanc, for all its tropical juiciness, however, is still surprisingly light, so that it is an absolute pleasure to drink. I bought it at my local wine store for $17 a bottle. It's the kind of thing you want to enjoy while sitting outside in the hot sun, eating a fresh fruit salad and pondering the merits of the Better Marriage (aka Fart-Be-Gone) Blanket.